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5 Common Behavioral Problems in Preschoolers and What You Can Do About Them

Parents of preschoolers experience many good things, but let us be honest: they also face some unique problems. Behaviors that test our patience and make us wonder if we are doing something wrong often happen in between those sweet moments of finding and wonder. The truth is that behavior problems are a normal part of growing up for preschoolers. Figuring out why people act this way and having useful ways to deal with them can turn stressful conditions into chances to grow.

1. Temper tantrums: the emotional storm

Problems with behavior in preschoolers that get really out of hand include temper tantrums. Everyone in the store seems to be looking and judging you as a parent when your three-year-old starts to cry in the middle of the hallway.

Why it happens: Preschoolers have strong feelings but do not have the words or the skills to talk about them in a healthy way. Kids often have temper tantrums when they are tired, hungry, angry, or stressed out.

Do this: Stay cool. The way you handle your emotions shows others how to act the way you want them to. Make sure your child is safe first during a temper tantrum. Tell them you understand how they feel by saying, "I can see you are upset because you wanted that toy." Do not try to talk sense into them while they are angry; wait until they are calm. Put together a "calm-down area" at home with books, soft music, and other things that make you feel good.

2. Not Listening and Defiance: Putting Limits to the Test

Even though you say something simple like "Please put your shoes on," your child acts like you are not speaking English. Selective hearing is one of the most common behavior problems parents have to deal with in their kids.

Why does it happen? Preschoolers are becoming more independent and trying to see how strong they are in the world. Their brains are still building the executive function skills they need to follow directions with more than one step.

What you can do: Get close to them and look them in the eyes before you tell them what to do. Use clear, simple wording that only has one or two steps. Say something like, "Would you like to wear your red shoes or blue shoes?" Make your work into a race or a game. When you see good listening, praise it right away.

3. Whining: This Is What You Say

That long "But I want it" can get even the most patient parent really angry. People often use whining as a way to talk because it works, at least sometimes.

Why do kids whine? They usually do it when they want attention or are tired, hungry, or angry. If parents sometimes give in to whining, it makes the behavior worse.

What you can do:
Respond the same way every time. Say, "I cannot hear you when you use that voice," when your child whines. Would you kindly ask me?" Show people how to make requests in the right way. Take care of your child's deeper needs. Is he or she hungry, tired, or just wanting to connect with you? Give them praise right away when they speak well.

4. Aggressive behavior: showing strong emotions through body language

Parents can have a hard time when their kids hit, kick, bite, or throw things. However, children often act out when they are angry because they cannot yet put their feelings into words.

Why it happens:
When kids are angry, upset, or feel like they cannot handle things, they may act out. They are still learning how to show anger and sadness in a healthy way.

Things you can do:
Make your rules clear and consistent."Hitting hurts." "We do not hit people." If your child is hurting other people, take them out of the setting. Show them other ways to say things, like, "You can stomp your feet or squeeze this pillow when you are mad." Active play and exercise should be available as ways to relax.

Fifth, separation anxiety is the fear of being apart.

Signs of separation anxiety include clinging, crying when dropped off, and having trouble with new providers. Even though it is difficult, this action actually shows a good connection.

Why it happens: Preschoolers are becoming more aware of how much they depend on their parents while also wanting to be independent. Concerns about safety and security can arise in new places or with new workers.

You can make it a habit to say goodbye every time with a kiss, a hug, and a wave. During exits, stay relaxed and sure of yourself. Try short separations with family members you trust at home. Give them comforting things like a picture of their family or their favorite stuffed animal. Do not sneak off; it breaks trust and makes people more anxious.

Taking Steps Forward with Faith


Remember that these problems your child is having in preschool are only brief parts of his or her growth. Punishments and awards are not the only ways to be consistent, patient, and understanding. Do not just try to stop habits; teach skills instead. Your child is figuring out how to deal with feelings, relationships, and demands. You are the most important person to help them along this path.

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